Science Museum in Britain Forced to Return Fire Exhibition Originally Taken from Deities

The Science Museum in London was forced to return a fire exhibit that was originally taken from the gods as a way to correct past wrongs committed by the imperial power. The museum spokesperson, Anne Sheridan, announced that after negotiations with the deities, the fire would be returned to Mount Olympus. This gesture was seen as a way to strengthen diplomatic ties with Zeus and show goodwill.

Sheridan explained that the fire was being returned voluntarily and as an apology for the actions of a colonial-era Titan who had taken it. The fire was considered a cultural artifact with deep significance to the gods and therefore belonged to them, not the British. The museum was returning the fire on a long-term loan basis.

In a separate announcement, men in bathroom stalls across the nation declared their plan to breathe really loudly.